When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

tonez77 (Male)

57 Yrs

Single

18 to 75 Yrs.

F

Brisbane, QLD

Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over my shoulder to the right and there was a woman in a brand new Honda doing 120 km per hour, with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that damn makeup! It scared me so badly, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and scalded Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone and disconnected an important call. Women drivers.

I am well travelled and was a victim of elocution lessons as a child. I am effluent in many languages.

I have shiny shoes and love my mum. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I bought a new Japanese car. I turned on the radio... I don't understand a word they're saying.

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

I enjoy the three 'M's; Massage, Meditation, Tim Tams and Popcorn.

Many women on this site want men that are financially successful. I went to the bank to check my balance and the cashier pushed me over.

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

Into spirituality, astrology, psychology. A bloke went to the psychologists wearing only clingwrap pants. The psych said "I can clearly see you're nuts"